AMA Show: Is this a Dance Contest?

Okay, I admit I'm curmudgeonly. I am also a sucker for great voices. Sing beautifully and I'll gladly give you $15 for a CD, $80 for a seat in a music hall so I can see and hear you in person, and endless devotion over your career no matter what befalls you. Ask me about Dionne Warwick, who many gave up on over the years. Fact is, put her on your stereo and the world stops - she is that good. kd lang? I'd be her driver and pick up her laundry and whatever sordid task she needed me to do. And don't even get me started on Harry Belafonte! I'm not jesting when I say that a good voice makes me cry. Young David Archuleta is one such individual. What a beautiful voice!

But you know what? Standing in front of a million dollar show and barking out notes while dancing (even dancing well) just doesn't move me. It could just be me and the way I'm wired. I'd take "Harold and Maude" over "Star Wars" any day.

I appreciate what these performers do, I really do. It is hard work, and they're absolutely amazing in terms of the entire theatrical presentation within their performances. It's just that in an awards show I'd rather hear people singing songs and not exploding into my living room in some bombastic display of excess self-importance. For the record, I didn't much like it years ago when many rockers of my era held these events and their fans in such low regard that they showed up stoned and bored us with the same sort of self-indulgence the dancing icons display today.

I wonder what musical awards show I'd do, if I was put in charge of creating the coolest new awards show. My favorite musical shows are the ones where artists of differing genres or generations join together for a song or two. I don't mean a massive flock of people grappling with the chorus of some big sing along song, I mean something where you could have Jonny Lang join Stevie Wonder with the E Street Band doing Superstition. I think Neil Young would be cool to hear onstage with The White Stripes. I think it would be cool to see what Will.I.Am and Bobby McFerrin could come up with. I would love to hear kd lang share the stage with Diana Krall and/or Elvis Costello. And it would be an absolute dream to hear John Hiatt work through some songs with Bruce Springsteen. Oh, and here's another - Paul McCartney with Los Lobos. And how about Anita Baker and Lyle Lovett? Her warm, powerful alto blended with his reedy and steady voice.

What if it were your awards show to choose, what would you do? Or, continuing on with my premise, who would you like to see perform together? I know I've just touched the surface - there are so many cool options...

Check out music from David Davenport

Organization - Who Needs it?

I am disorganized - possibly to the point of being described as “clinically disorganized”. There is never going to be a time when I am organized. It just ain’t going to happen. I think, though I have no concrete evidence since it is technically not derivable that I would have been a high achiever in the days when you had to hunt to survive. I’m fast, clever, have very strong teeth, and respond to the hunger messages banging around in my brain. I think that a high ability to organize would’ve been okay to have in that era, but not nearly as useful as speed and cunning. Today, though? My hunger drive merely leads me to over eat easily obtainable over-fat foods. My cunning is good for things like Sudoku. My speed gene only gets me pulled over for traffic violations.

I think they should have paintball competitions where the winners eat well and the losers eat slop. If we ever do that, get on my team because I guarantee you will partake in a feast fit for royalty. Until that time, is there anyone out there for hire as an organizer for a clinically disorganized malcontent?